Tomorrow I’m getting a keyboard for my iPad delivered. I can’t wait. It’ll make typing in the bath so much easier.
This evening I am experiencing one of my spiritual moods where I feel drawn to spiritual learning. Usually I go searching for a Buddhism podcast, reading material or YouTube video, but I’m wondering if I shouldn’t instead look inside myself for what I am feeling and searching for. Asking myself what I am seeking? What I am feeling? Maybe meditate on my thoughts for 5 or 10 minutes, or journal about them (like I am now). Frequently when I am in these moods, I also find myself easily distracted, my mind flitting quickly from one thing to the next. Unable to settle and focus on one thing. Even now writing, my mind moves from reading, to body piercing to autism (a friend posting about being on the scale and a tumblr post about social interaction and conversational queues), and back to spirituality.
I find myself frequently searching for a spiritual construct that suits my beliefs. Part ritual, part Buddhism, part Wicca and earth bound. I’ve yet to find something that satiates my need, and I wonder about constructing my own practice and ritual but am unsure and feel I lack the dedication since my desire is intermittent.
Later…
I’m not a believer that cards can tell our future, but can be used for investigating your own thoughts and feelings. It’s taken me many, many years to realise I can create my own spiritual path, and it can be whatever I need it to be to fulfil my own spiritual growth. It’s stunned me that this never occurred to me before and I’ve been conflicted by being drawn to many different ideas and practices, from Christianity, Buddhism, Humanism and Wicca.
Spirituality and beliefs are unique to all of us and many prefer to walk a well-worn spiritual path following the structure of well established religion. I’ve tried that path in the past and it’s never quite fit right with me. I believe all religions are aiming towards the same thing but get lost in the doctrine of following rules, and in my belief miss the point entirely (not all, of course). But being able to create my own path to enlightenment/god/truth/peace/whatever you want to perceive it, is truly liberating.