I really struggled with my last OU assignment and it got to a point where I just submitted it and thought “fuck it.”. I just got it back and I scored 98%! Holy fuck! It’s the second time I’ve expected to get low marks and then been pleasantly surprised. But 98%? I was expecting about 60%.

This really is the pick up I needed as I’ve really been struggling with motivation the last few weeks. I’ve really had to push myself to get into the study and get through the module material. I’ve just wanted to do anything but do it. I even got as far as looking at the module deferring information last week, but didn’t want to quit when I’m already half way through this module. So getting my highest ever mark really helps.

[getty src=”500049743″ width=”507″ height=”338″]
So, firstly I’m going to try to not start every single blog post with “so”. This is going to be a challenge.

I would introduce myself, but I have promised myself that I’m going to write this blog for no-one else but me. So I don’t really need to introduce me to myself, however, if all goes to plan, one day, years from now, I will be an exhausted parent to a well adjusted, self sufficient human, and maybe at that point I will have forgotten the person I am now. So for that reason I’ll paint the picture of my current life.

I am 36, turning 37 in 2 months, and Pete is 35, turning 36 this month. Up to now we have been enjoying a totally selfish adulthood, of late nights, plenty of alcohol and indulging our hobbies of computer games and crafting. Annual holidays, lazy weekends, we are homebodies wallowing is a quiet home life with minimal commitments. And we’ve finally decided to throw that all out of the window and try for a baby.

It’s really not been an easy decision to come to. In fact it’s a decision that I wan’t sure we would EVER come to. We’ve been incredibly happy being child free, and neither of us have ever been intensely driven to be parents. Some people know they was children early and it’s a driving factor in heir relationship. It’s never been that way for us. When I was young I always pictured myself as a mother, but as I grew older that biological desire never really kicked in. The reality for me is that brooding has only popped up briefly and infrequently in my life and if age wasn’t a factor, I’d be happily continuing as normal. But that childhood picture of being a parent is still present and with my 37th birthday on the horizon I’ve realised that I need to actively decide to make that picture a reality very soon otherwise the opportunity is going to pass me by.