Tag: 100words

And so I have reached the end of this writing journey and challenge. There have been times when the words have just flowed, like now, and there were times when 100 words felt like a mountain I couldn’t conquer. I’ve learned that I don’t enjoy writing fiction that much, but I do like writing poetry or lyrics when I’m in the right frame of mind for it. I might do this again in future, but not next month, and maybe not January either. I’ve really enjoyed it though and appreciate what it has taught me. Thanks for the motivation x

The compulsion is too strong, I can’t stop the urge. It’s there constantly, in the back of my mind and before I know it I’ve given in and there is pain. I wish I knew a way to control it and get rid of the constant desire to pick and chew. That sense of satisfaction when you find an area with an edge and you can lift and tear it away. Then afterwards is regret and shame. Being a slave to this weakness. This ability to hurt myself and not control the impulse. It’s an embarrassment and I hate it.

Jonny Depp. Mmmmm, damn that man looks hot in the Sauvage tv advert. I hope our take away will arrive soon, I’m starving. Last nights bender was a good night. I’m suffering a bit for it today though. Thankfully I have no obligations so have been able to spend the day doing nothing. I ordered myself a new journal for next year, so y challenge for December is to fill my current Dainel journal. It’s going to be tough but it will be a good time to try stream of consciousness writing, or free writing. Like I’m doing right now.

Flying to the moon in a rocket made of dreams
taking with me all of my memories
back on earth are my fears and regrets
the things I don’t need for this adventure
In my suitcase I have the love of my family
Enough resources to last me an infinite number of lifetimes
When I get there I plan on looking through my memories
and holding each one in my hand, turning it over
and feeling how perfectly in fits in my life
Then I will float around amongst them all
in a bubble of abundant joy and perfect bliss

A very profound and true quote that I really love is “if you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them” and I need to remind myself of this frequently. Recently a challenge arose at work where I was really required to step out of my comfort zone. I got really angry about it as I didn’t really have a choice in the situation so I kept telling myself how nervous I was and how stressful it was going to be. However when it came down the the fact I actually had a great time and learned a lot.

Having a physical, hmmm, disability (I’m loathe to call it a disability, but truly, that’s what it is) is mostly frustrating. There are many times where I’d like to be able to do everyday things that so many people take for granted, small things, mindless things, but I just can’t. Usually this isn’t much of an issue but there are definitely times when it can get me down. It was definitely harder as a kid, and kids can be so cruel and being left out was painful. When you are a kid all you want to do is fit in.

As a child I was completely riddled with fears and phobias. As I moved into my teens the fear of death was probably the most prevalent. I could quite literally bring myself to tears by over-thinking it. The finality of no longer existing on the planet! Other day to day fears were things like being afraid of the dark and talking on the telephone. I would get so nervous if my library books were due to expire and I was forced to ring in to renew then. What if I said the wrong thing when talking to an adult!

Oh 100words. What strife you can some days seem! Forcing me to crank the wheel and express the creative juice from my cranium. Some days the fruit is ripe, and other days desiccated in a drought of inspiration. As the month draws on and I have one week to go, I wonder, will I make it to the end without resorting mindless babble for days on end? I pray I can make it through. How do people do this for consecutive months and years‽ That surely feels like a small miracle? I have learned, I don’t like writing fiction much.

I said I don’t like flowers. I said they just died and are a waste of money. I said I wasn’t the jealous type, and that I didn’t mind if you checked out other women, as long as you stayed true to me. I said I didn’t mind if you were a smoker, and I didn’t mind you not calling me in the evenings; I’m not codependent and needy. I even said I’d never ask you if an item of clothing made my bum look big. I suppose I didn’t know myself as well as I thought. Thankfully, you did.

The sad fact of the human condition is that we seem preprogrammed for violence. Human history has shown that we are our own worst enemy and even through our creative endeavours in film and literature our violence shows through. We fear aliens will come and invade our planet, unable to co-exist because that is exactly what humans are like. We cannot conceive that foreign species might be friendly or have a culture based on sharing. Even thinking of aliens creates the categories of “us” versus “them”. We cannot understand the universe without predetermined boxes to fit brings into. We’re sick.