Tag: 100words

Sometimes it seems there is no light in the darkness. The pit is deep and all consuming and I can’t see the top of it or any means of escape. There are rats at my feet and the panic sets. I scratch at the sides helplessly, looking for any purchase to try and climb out, but the side are weak and start to crumble. As bits of earth fall at my feet I step on top of it and continue to scratch at the sides, my fingers bleeding but I ignore the pain. Desperate to get out of this well.

I wish I were rich. I wish that on days like today I could quit my job and never look back. I would open a small bookshop which also sell stationery and fountain pens, and have a kitty sleeping in the corner. I would be a confusing mix of Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail, and Dylan Moran in Black Books; shouting at noises kids but loving the shy, bookish ones. I’d travel the world sourcing stock for my precious little shop, and wear crazy and interesting clothing so little kids would believe me to be a witch.

I wish I knew what you were thinking. What thoughts run through you mind as you stare at me across the lounge, kitty? What do your meows mean when you sit on the coffee table facing the wall? It amuses me kitty, when you stare at the paper crane on the shelf and suddenly flick it off with your cute curled paw, then peer down at it on the floor below you. And I love how you chirp hello at me when I walk back in the room. But it’s my favourite when you snuggle up with me in bed.

Japa mala. A necklace strung with 108 beads and the single 109th guru bead as a starting point and anchor. Serving as a counter when practicing prayer or mantra meditation, to me the mala is a calming and beautiful symbol of mindfulness and spiritual focus. Commonly constructed with rudraksha beads as the primary base and combined with other gemstones the natural materials and are grounding and a reminder to keep it basic and focus on the simple, natural state of the things. No need to complicate life, you are here, you are valid and are in control. Be peaceful.

I would walk 1000 miles to see you smile and laugh with your brothers and sister again.

I would walk 1000 miles to go surfing with you and see the focus and passion in your eyes as you observe the waves.

I would walk 1000 miles to sit with you next to the waterfall, as 15 year olds living in a world of infinite possibility and adventure.

I would walk 1000 miles to walk with you through the long grass in the afternoon sun, the entire world our playground.

I would walk 1000 miles to stop you driving that night.

I want you to want the same things as me. To have the longing in the pit of your stomach to bring the same enrichment into our lives no mater the hardship that comes along with it. I can’t force you to want it, but in the least I expect you to discuss it with me and have an understanding of what is going on inside. Without that I am left feeling lonely and empty, and almost in a state of grief. At the moment we are on different pages, but I fear you may be reading a different book.

My first recognition of morning is the soft pillow pressed against my face and the warmth of my rested body under the thick duvet. I draw a large intake of breath and yawn as I roll over and enjoy a deep stretch. I slowly open my eyes just a crack and look towards the window. There is a small gap in the drawn curtains and a golden sunbeam pokes through into the room to greet me “good morning”. Tiny dust particles gently float through it, glowing for a moment and giving the illusion of time slowed almost to a stop.

Golden orange, red and brown leaves shimmering in the sunshine, rustling crisply in a cool breeze, and crunching under foot. A child in a knitted hat giggling as she and her dog run run back and forth through the drifts of leaves in the park while her mother sits on the bench enjoying the sun warming her face. Indoors people prepare fires in the hearth ready to warm the house in the evening, gathering under a blanket in front of the TV; enjoying the cozy feeling snuggling together with a lovely hot chocolate to create that perfect autumn atmosphere.

Love is putting your heart into the hands of someone else and trusting them to look after it as if it were their own, and in return they give you their heart to look after as if it were your own; because love is never a one way transaction. It is a mutual trade in trust and kindness. Sometimes the other person will make a mistake and hurt your heart a little bit but they will then take extra care to heal the injury. Likewise, sometimes you will also make mistakes, and with care and they will forgive you too.

When Lucifer arrived in Liverpool, summoned quite accidentally by the crooning of 4 blokes with floppy haircuts, he thought the packed stadium was still full of concert goers ripe for possession. However he was severely wrong. His ascent through the seven levels of hell had taken a lot longer than anticipated; (Adolf has taken up an extraordinary amount of time bothering him over details for the forthcoming underworld Christmas party), so by the time he finally emerged there was a different crowd present. As the beer bottle struck him the last thing he heard was “When you walk through a storm…”