Tag: 100words

I’m often disturbed by my own lack of compassion, yet other times I can be surprised by my capacity to love. The trick is in practicing mindfulness. Being aware of the negative thoughts, acknowledging them, forgiving yourself and letting it go. Being gentle with yourself and not being too critical of your own human condition. This affliction we have as humans to be angry and vengeful, hurtful and spiteful. We will always carry this burden but we do not always have to be our own victims of it. We can forgive ourselves and learn to follow a more enlightened path.

Spinning around until we are dizzy and then falling over on to the grass laughing until we can hardly breathe. The beauty and innocence of youth shining through our smiles, highlighted by the missing baby teeth. Excitement because the tooth fairy is sure to visit tonight, leaving a token of money in place of our dental offering. What will we buy with our rewards? Bubblegum, popcorn, toffee or choc dip? Maybe all four. A true delight for a young child! Delights that seem to last forever, just like the summer holidays. Running through the spray of a garden hose.

Free from worry, free from pain, free from life, never again
To feel the soft touch of a child, or know the heat within the fire
Your heart’s desire removed and gone, buried with the firing of a gun
Those dreams you had to change the world are now fulfilled, but not to your word
Destiny took you on a different path.
Did you want to be famous? Because now you are
The evil and madness takes its toll, but time will prove you’re not really gone
Your name will stay amongst the stars, remembering forever who you are.

The howling wind finds its way through the tiniest of gaps in the brickwork, moving the dusty curtain ever so slightly. At the end of the long passage a pair of green eyes pause to take in the movement then quickly hurry away to slink back into the shadows. In the corner of the dark parlour a lone candle suddenly flickers to light; ignited by some unseen force or magic, it casts a faint light on a figure sitting on the winged armchair. The figures broad shoulders move slightly with his breath when suddenly the door slams with a BANG!

The sky glows with varying shades of red, orange, purple and blue. A dazzling display of nature painted across the morning sky. I kneel and close my eyes to meditate. Observing my thoughts drifting in and out of my mind like the clouds gliding slowly across the sky. I can sense the warm glow in the room from the beautiful sunrise and I take count of my blessings. My beautiful home, my kind and loving husband and my cherished family and friends. There is not much more I could ask for in this life and I consider myself exceptionally blessed.

The rocket ship shook and rattled so much on re-entry that Max was sure it was going to break apart. The mission to Neptune had already cost him so much that he couldn’t bear to be defeated at the final stage of his mission. Luther’s final words still echoed in his head “Don’t fuck this up, Max. The entire planet is depending on you!”, but now all he could do was hold tight and hope for the best. As the atmosphere on the deck screens slowly turned from black to blue he knew he had succeeded in saving all mankind.

A friend said that reading about misery can be addicting in light of a tragedy. How true. The need for distraction becomes apparent and I need to force myself to close the news articles and read something light hearted or watch some frivolous comedy instead. A dog playing games with his owner, chasing each other around the house. Conspiring together to just have fun. Such small things become so important to keep my sanity and prevent the obsession with the macabre setting in too deeply. I say silent prayers for those suffering and hug my loved ones that bit tighter.

It’s not my place to judge anyone for the way they choose to live this life. Why should it even matter to me what people do and the decisions they make to make their own lives happier? We are all doing the best we can on this path called life and we all have to do whatever it takes to get through it. I cannot conceive the path that any other person has been on or what they have experienced, so I am no sensible navigator for their future or what they need to make it through the day.

Would you forgive me for being afraid?

Would you forgive me if i give you a bad name?

I’m not sure I can do this,
but I’ll do the best I can.
I know there’s will be times I fail,
but I’ll pick myself up and try again.

Would you forgive me for wanting time alone?

Would you forgive me for shouting in despair?

When I fall to my knees and can’t get up
I’ll need you to pick me up.
And when you are screaming in frustration
I’ll be there to sooth you too.

I will forgive you too.

I said to myself I wouldn’t cry, I’d done that and I was finished. We started talking and it was tough going. We were both unhappy with this conversation but it was obvious it needed to happen. You did some deep thinking and I could tell there was a lot you weren’t saying, and that might have been for the best, but after a while you realised this was huge and could be a deal breaker. I knew it would never come to that for us though, but I guess you didn’t. I’m glad we met in the middle.